RANT: I know its stupid but...

I REALLY miss eating. I'm day 5 post-op from my sleeve and I'm still on clear liquids for 2 more days, then I'll be in full liquids for another week before I even get to consider touching pureed foods. Today was the first day I really started to get that sorry for myself feeling about not eating. Like, a brief "what have I done" kind of emotion ran over me. I think I'm sort of grieving food. I haven't really thought that much about it up until now. I had hit my pre-op diet hard and lost 38 lbs before my surgery. And the first few days after surgery it was a struggle just to get down an ounce of water at a time, much less the awful clear protein drinks. But now my sleeve seems to be accepting of any and all liquids I'm giving it, and I guess I'm just getting bored with drinking the same few things. I'm so tired of water and propel and sugar free popsicles, and the thought of my clear protein drinks made me want to slit my wrists (yeah, I'm being dramatic, whatever). Also I'm stuck at home for another 2 days before I'm allowed to go back to work. So I'm bored out of my mind to top it off! I have been leaving the house for errands and walks to break up the monotony, but mostly I'm just stuck in the house with Netflix and all I can think about is all the food I'm NOT eating. I seriously haven't chewed anything in a week. It's so weird! I'm not physically hungry. I do have lots of acid grumbles all the time, which don't really bother me. But I find myself getting all depressed and *****y because I can't eat. It's annoying. I'm annoyed by myself. UGH!!!! 

Rant over. Thank you.

That is not stupid.  I remember feeling the same way -- and it gave me some real insight to my relationship with food and why I had become morbidly obese.  For me, it is truly an addiction and I have to treat it that way.

Just wanted you to know that you are definitely not alone in your feelings.

Thanks, Kat! 

It's perfectly normal to experience buyers remorse at this stage. It gets a whole lot better! Just rely on following the rules and don't trust your emotions. You just had major surgery and need to heal!

I hadn't thought about it as buyers remorse, but that it kind of what it feels like! Thanks for the support. 

One thing I did when I would get discouraged was make a list of things I would be able to do after surgery. Picture yourself doing them. I know it sounds kind of silly but it did help me.

Maybe take a walk outside and gets some sun and fresh air. When I feel doom I watch garbage tv. Such as the housewives shows. 

It will get better I promise.

I love the advice. I live in Tucson, so walking outside pretty much only happens after the sun goes down. The hubby and I did go play some basketball and take a walk the other night, which was nice. I hate reality TV, but lately I've been binging on Shark Tank. I think its partially because I miss being at work so much and it allows me to do some armchair business analysis. Today I did write a list of fitness and lifestyle goals and stuck it on my refrigerator, so every time I go to reach for my awful protein drinks instead of what I really want to be reaching for, I'm reminded why.

Thanks for the tips!

You are not alone.  As we lose weight our emotions can go haywire.    Plus, food has been our comfort and friend for so long that we do have to grieve it.  It is not easy but well worth it!!

Thanks, Catherine!

It's totally normal to feel the way that you do. I couldn't wait to use my teeth again. It does get better, you just gotta hang tough for now & soon all of this will be a distant memory. 

I do agree with the other poster abou****ching "trash tv", nothing is more distracting than watching 2 women, or a bunch of people whine & get wild over utter nonsense. Yeah I watch that mess, time totally flies by!